Monday, November 8, 2010
It's hard to say goodbye.
Pepe was my puppy. He had many names: Pepe, Pepperoni, Pepperchini, Peplinksi, Petey-Pablo... just to name a few.
His short life was filled with happiness and love. He brought so much joy to our lives and always made other people laugh with his silly sideways walk and funny little personality.
I'm finding it hard to hold back the feelings of regret, sadness, anger and depression after his death. I really feel like I could have done something differently and none of this would have happened. I can't sleep and every time I close my eyes, I picture him. It's horrible.
My little baby dog. He was always so warm and fuzzy and happy to be around people. All I think about is that he is no longer warm. He is cold and wet and far away from his favorite thing in the world: people. I am so upset by this loss.
My Dad's partner, Sonja, kindly took Pepe back to their house and placed him in his final resting place within my Dad's garden. I wrote him a long letter and told him that I love him, miss him, and I am so very sorry that he is gone. I told him that I wish he knew how much happiness that he brought our family and that Stella keeps crying out his name and crawling towards the foot of the bed at night - looking for him. I placed the letter on the ground above him and gently pushed dirt over it.
When Stella and I arrived in Portland, she was beside herself with excitement when she saw him. Here are some videos that I took just a few days ago of them together. (If you are reading this on facebook, please follow this link to view the videos on my blog)