It's hard to say goodbye.

By Liv

Pepe was my puppy. He had many names: Pepe, Pepperoni, Pepperchini, Peplinksi, Petey-Pablo... just to name a few.

His short life was filled with happiness and love. He brought so much joy to our lives and always made other people laugh with his silly sideways walk and funny little personality.

I'm finding it hard to hold back the feelings of regret, sadness, anger and depression after his death. I really feel like I could have done something differently and none of this would have happened. I can't sleep and every time I close my eyes, I picture him. It's horrible.

My little baby dog. He was always so warm and fuzzy and happy to be around people. All I think about is that he is no longer warm. He is cold and wet and far away from his favorite thing in the world: people. I am so upset by this loss.

My Dad's partner, Sonja, kindly took Pepe back to their house and placed him in his final resting place within my Dad's garden. I wrote him a long letter and told him that I love him, miss him, and I am so very sorry that he is gone. I told him that I wish he knew how much happiness that he brought our family and that Stella keeps crying out his name and crawling towards the foot of the bed at night - looking for him. I placed the letter on the ground above him and gently pushed dirt over it.

When Stella and I arrived in Portland, she was beside herself with excitement when she saw him. Here are some videos that I took just a few days ago of them together. (If you are reading this on facebook, please follow this link to view the videos on my blog)

Goodbye Pepe. We will miss you.

Our little guy got into an accident last night and unfortunately he didn't survive. Livia is devastated. She tells me that Stella keeps saying Pepe's name and looking around for him which breaks my heart. Of course, I'm back in England so I'm unable to do much consoling from afar but I'm trying.

If you never had a chance to meet Pepe, I'm sorry. He was a great little guy that was full of personality. Pepe was a toy-sized Australian Shepard. We first met him up in Lopez Island, Washington when he was about three months old. He came home with us a few weeks later.

He packed alot of excitement into his short life. Pep was my co-pilot when we drove the cat and chickens from Utah to Washington. We climbed Mt. Olympus together. Pep loved to hop like a rabbit in the Utah snow. He even took a dip in the pool during the summer (with some encouragement). Livia made sure Pepe got his exercise. They made countless trips to the d o g p a r k (we couldn't say this word in front of Pepe without him going nuts). Once, Pepe jumped out of a kayak in the middle of a lake and Livia was in the water before I even realized what had happened. She always made sure Pepe was 'well fed' too. Livia was the best to him.

Most recently, Pepe had been pampered by my parents. Plenty of tennis ball time with my Dad. I think they had a bed for him in every room of their house. I know they loved him just as much as Liv and I did and I thank them for taking such good care of him.

We sure are going to miss asking Pep to howl for us. Thanks Pepe for being the perfect companion. We love you.